I ran again yesterday. I chose a different route, sort of. I decided I wanted to go for a longer distance. There was no way to avoid the house where the infamous dog lives so I took it as a test of my faith (or reason). I first drove around to figure out the distance. I was going to try and run three miles. I figured out a rectangle on the roads around my sisters house, parked my car, got changed and took David Crowder along with me. I ran and ran and realized that three miles on a treadmill are very different than three miles up and down a back road in Indiana. I don't want to paint a bad picture of myself but I was carefully analyzing every yard I was passing, every open screen door, and constantly looking over my shoulder. I know it sounds weak but actually I saw a rottweiler who was just running back inside after a number one or two (or combo, I did not ask). I stopped and with my feet my heart also stopped. I waited and was relieved to see the dog go inside.
I continued my run and as I was drawing the end part, I got to the house of the dog from last Thursday. Sure enough, I saw him and he saw me. I stopped. After about 5 minutes of thinking about possible options I decided I was going to go for it. I grabbed a stick and went on the side of the road, into a cleared field. I passed the house with no sign of the dog. As I looked back I wondered if I had only seen him in my head. But it couldn't be, I heard him bark, I saw his ugly face.
Something else that bugged me on my run were my thoughts. I kept imagining the scenario of running into the dog and having to fight him. The image was so vivid in my head that I would feel the blood rushing, I was overcome with anger and all I could think of was the violence I would bring on that dog. I had to pull myself back from the intensity of my thoughts. I don't really know what really happened there. Looking back, it makes me think of the post Edenic relationship that Adam had with Creation. There is a desire, part of my sinful nature, to be at war with God's Creation. Why did I want to hurt that dog? Because I wanted gratification. For what? He had not done anything to me, except bark and growl. I wanted jsutice for all the fearful thoughts.
I am a runner (trying to be) with new shoes; I am a sinner with a new heart. Every time I run I try to do better than my last one; every new day I get I try to let my new heart pump new blood into my sinful body. LORD have mercy!
Comments (3)
Time to get a can of mace, my friend.
My friend, Frank, has trouble with dogs where he lives. One dog has actually bit him before. It is taking every bit of strength he has not to meet that dog with a baseball bat and introduce him to doggie heaven. Be careful with the dogs! Some of them will bite and it doesn't take much to get htem too!
@Blue_ButterflyBaby - thanks for the warning!